Am I a bad person for constantly moaning about my weight? Am I selfish for not believing people when they say I look fine? That I don't need to lose anymore weight?

Is my behaviour irrational? Of course it is but that's the thing. That what a mental illness does to people. It blocks the logical and rational behaviour with its compulsive thoughts. It's torturous thoughts. They take over your life. Your every waking moment.

I feel like I have no-one to talk to. My boyfriend is fed up hearing about me talking about my weight, checking myself in the mirror, looking at my body. He doesn't understand. These thoughts are destroying me. He can't understand why I feel so unattractive when he thinks I'm beautiful. He doesn't see what I see or feel what I feel. I can't stand my reflection, I want to break the mirror.

I look hideous. I fear I'm never going to accept what I look like. I fear I'm never going to be happy. Before I hit my personally set target weight I think I'm going to be happy but when I reach it it's never enough. My next target weight is 8 stone or a size 6/8. I always want to lose more. Will it ever stop?

I just want these horrible, destructive thoughts to go away.

Go away, go away, GO AWAY. Please.